He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
