He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Randomize
