I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
