I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
