My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
