the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
