Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
