How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
