yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
