Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.