My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
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Sacagawea was the original milf.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
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he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.