Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.