Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?