i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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