Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
