Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
