smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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