"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
