She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
