I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Randomize
