is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
