Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
