just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
