ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
