4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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