Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
