forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
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