Screwed.edu
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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