Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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