well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
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