Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
