She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
