why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
