I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
bring money and cleavage
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
