Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
