I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
