we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
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