new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
