Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
