i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
