I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
