we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
