there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
