so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
