I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
