i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
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