Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
