Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
