After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
