She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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