Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
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