We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
