My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
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