I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
