if you like me you must not know who I am
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
