he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
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