my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I have feelings that need drinking.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
My bed smells like the plague
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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