I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
