Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
