So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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