Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
