If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize