Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
