i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Randomize
