I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
