...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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