Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
