she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
