Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize